I think at least part of me is a big picture kind of person. I like to know how things work out. Before I watch a tv episode on Hulu i read the episode summary; before i watch a movie, i like to read a synopsis; before i read a book, i always read the dust jacket. I can see this attitude bleeding over into my relational life. I never made the connection before, but just now, it just hit me. I always thought i was just over analyzing things. I think the truth is, i want to know all the pieces. I want to know what the other person is thinking, is feeling, is wanting. On top of that, i want to know what i'm thinking, what i'm feeling, what i'm wanting. And this is just with friendships! Don't even mention romantic relationships.
The biggest picture of all--the meaning of life. Lately, i've been struggling with doubt in my faith in God and in my spiritual life. And now i see that i've been trying to "see the big picture"--i want to know how it all ends. Is there a heaven? Hell, is there even a God? What is beyond the physical? And how can i experience it?
But, my counselor told me something that hopefully will be life changing. One cannot "strive" and "try" in a relationship. You can't micromanage every aspect of a relationship because it's just not possible. It all goes back to "just being". I'm slowly learning to "let go and let God", as the saying goes. Well, right now it's more like "let go and let go" =).
So, "Big Picture" thinking has its time and place, but when it takes over, i lose the here and now. So, for now, i'm learning to "just be", to "let go and let go", and let the "Big Picture" take care of itself.
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