I am so blessed. I know i say that every year, even despite the fact that i don't believe it as fully as is true. I had a wonderfully relaxed afternoon doing whatever and catching up on BSG (nearing the end!! it's so epic!! a little too epic maybe =). And then had a lovely, low-key evening hanging out with friends--Papa Murphy's, salad (with home grown vegetables and nasturtiums--and edible flower), 2 games of captions, and pinochle. And then i came home to my marvelous housemate and an equally marvelous friend =)...and vegged with them watching Buffy. And all those wonderful "Happy Birthday" wishes on fb!! So many!! and i was reminded that i have 2 birthday twins (i guess we'd be birthday triplets). I feel "older" in a more mature way...
And yet, i am housing some mixed feelings in equal parts. My feelings of yearning by no means diminishes my feelings of blessing (let alone their true blessings as well). For my birthday, if you were to ask me what i truly wanted, the answer on the top of my head (without even thinking) would have been just cuddling with my boyfriend in front of a movie, possibly (probably) with friends...but wait...don't really have a bf.
But once again, i can't stress enough, that gut longing does not by any means take away from the blessings of my friends!! I am learning to accept people choosing me...and also learning to choose them in a real way.
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